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Dear younger me, I wish I could go back in time and tell you everything I know now. Growing up as a woman in India taught me lessons I never expected to learn. Some came easily, others through difficult experiences that I wouldn't wish on anyone.
Today, I'm writing these letters not just for you, but for every young woman navigating the complex reality of being female in our beautiful yet challenging country. With over 4,45,256 cases of crimes against women reported in 2022 alone, these conversations are more important than ever.
These aren't letters of fear, but of empowerment. They're the wisdom I wish someone had shared with me when I was just starting to understand the world around me. Every woman deserves to feel safe, confident, and free to live her dreams.
Letter 1: Trust Your Instincts - They're Your Best Friend.
My dear girl, that uncomfortable feeling in your stomach when something doesn't feel right? Listen to it. That voice in your head telling you to leave a situation? Don't ignore it.
Society will often tell you that you're "overreacting" or being "too sensitive." They're wrong. Your instincts have been sharpened by thousands of years of human survival. They exist to protect you.
Red Flags to Never Ignore:
• Someone standing too close in an empty space.
• A person who doesn't respect your "no" in small things.
• Men who make you feel uncomfortable with their stares or comments.
• Anyone who tries to isolate you from your friends or family.
• Situations where you feel pressured to drink or go somewhere alone.
Remember, it's better to hurt someone's feelings than to put yourself in danger. Your safety is not negotiable.
Letter 2: Your Safety Comes First, Always.
Sweet child, you'll grow up believing that being polite is more important than being safe. This is a dangerous lie that our society teaches girls from childhood.
You have permission to be "rude." You have permission to:
• Say no loudly and clearly.
• Walk away from conversations that make you uncomfortable.
• Refuse to give your phone number to strangers.
• Leave parties or gatherings when you feel unsafe.
• Ignore catcalls and inappropriate comments.
Strategies for Leaving Uncomfortable Situations:
• "I need to use the bathroom" - then leave.
• "My friend is calling me" - answer your phone and walk away.
• "I have an emergency at home" - no explanation needed.
• Simply walk away without explanation if you feel threatened.
Your politeness should never come at the cost of your safety. Real gentlemen will understand and respect your boundaries.
Letter 3: Public Spaces and Street Smarts.
Navigating crowded markets, busy trains, and festival crowds in India requires specific skills that no one teaches us in school.
In Crowded Places:
• Keep your bag in front of you, not on your back.
• Stay aware of who's around you.
• If someone touches you inappropriately, don't stay silent - call them out loudly.
• Find other women or families if you feel uncomfortable • Keep your phone charged and easily accessible.
Body Language That Protects:
• Walk with confidence, head up, shoulders straight.
• Make brief eye contact to show you're aware of your surroundings.
• Don't wear headphones in isolated areas.
• Trust your peripheral vision - if someone's following you, you'll sense it.
Finding Allies:
• Look for other women, especially mothers with children.
• Shopkeepers and vendors can be helpful if you're being harassed.
• Security guards at malls and public spaces.
• Auto drivers and taxi drivers - many are genuinely helpful.
Remember, most people in India are good and will help if you ask. Don't let fear stop you from seeking help when you need it.
Letter 4: Digital Safety in the Modern Age.
The internet can be wonderful, but it can also be dangerous for women. Your digital footprint is permanent, so be smart about it.
Social Media Safety Rules:
• Never share your exact location in real-time.
• Don't post photos of your home address or workplace.
• Keep your friend lists private.
• Be careful about sharing your phone number publicly.
• Use privacy settings on all your accounts.
Dealing with Online Harassment:
• Block and report immediately - don't engage.
• Screenshot evidence before blocking.
• Tell a trusted adult or friend.
• Remember that online bullies are usually cowards in real life.
Dating App Safety:
• Always meet in public places.
• Tell a friend where you're going and when.
• Don't share personal details like your address or workplace early on.
• Trust your instincts - if something feels off, it probably is.
• Have your own transportation to and from dates.
The government has created the 112 India app, available in 23 states, which can send an SOS alert with just one tap. Download it and keep it easily accessible.
Letter 5: Workplace Navigation.
The workplace brings its own unique challenges for women in India. You'll encounter everything from casual sexism to serious harassment, and you need to be prepared.
Recognizing Inappropriate Behavior:
• Unwanted comments about your appearance.
• Inappropriate jokes or conversations of a sexual nature.
• Unnecessary physical contact or standing too close.
• Requests for personal favors unrelated to work.
• Discrimination based on your gender, marital status, or pregnancy.
Building Your Professional Network:
• Connect with other women in your industry.
• Find female mentors who've navigated similar challenges.
• Join professional women's groups and associations.
• Support other women - lift as you climb.
Speaking Up Safely:
• Document everything - dates, witnesses, conversations.
• Report to HR or trusted supervisors.
• Know your company's policies on harassment.
• Don't suffer in silence - seek support from colleagues you trust.
Remember, you have the right to work in an environment free from harassment and discrimination.
Letter 6: Travel and Transportation.
Whether you're traveling for work, studies, or pleasure, safety should always be your first priority.
Solo Travel Tips:
• Research your destination thoroughly.
• Book accommodations in safe, well-reviewed areas.
• Keep copies of important documents separate from originals.
• Share your itinerary with family or friends.
• Trust local women for advice about safe areas and practices.
Using Ride-sharing Apps Safely:
• Always check the license plate and driver's photo.
• Sit behind the driver, not in the front seat.
• Share your ride details with someone you trust.
• Keep your phone charged and GPS on.
• If something feels wrong, ask the driver to stop at a public place.
Late-night Commutes:
• Avoid traveling alone after dark when possible.
• Stay in well-lit, populated areas • Keep emergency contacts easily accessible.
• Consider staying overnight with friends rather than traveling late.
Accommodation Safety:
• Read reviews carefully, especially from female travelers.
• Choose places with good lighting and security.
• Keep your room number private.
• Don't open your door without verifying who's there.
Letter 7: Building Your Support Network.
You can't navigate this journey alone, and you shouldn't have to. Building a strong support network is crucial for your safety and well-being.
Identifying Trustworthy People:
• Friends who respect your boundaries and decisions.
• Family members who support your independence.
• Colleagues who treat you with respect.
• Neighbors who look out for each other.
Emergency Contacts System:
• Keep at least three emergency contacts in your phone.
• Make sure these people know they're your emergency contacts.
• Update your contacts regularly.
• Include at least one person who lives nearby.
Creating Check-in Systems:
• Text a friend when you reach home safely.
• Share your location during dates or new experiences.
• Have a code word system for emergencies.
• Regular check-ins during solo travel.
Finding Community:
• Join women's groups in your area.
• Connect with female colleagues and classmates.
• Participate in community activities.
• Build relationships with neighbors.
Remember, asking for help is not a sign of weakness - it's a smart safety strategy.
Letter 8: When Things Go Wrong.
I hope you never need this information, but if something bad happens, you need to know how to respond.
Immediate Response Strategies:
• Get to safety first - leave the situation if possible.
• Call for help immediately - don't wait.
• Preserve evidence if it's safe to do so.
• Seek medical attention if needed.
• Report to authorities when you're ready.
Know Your Legal Rights:
• You have the right to file a complaint.
• You have the right to medical examination and treatment.
• You have the right to legal representation.
• You have the right to privacy during legal proceedings.
Important Helpline Numbers:
• Women in Distress: 1090/1091.
• National Emergency Number: 112.
• Police: 100.
• Women's Helpline: 181.
Mental Health Support:
• Trauma is real and valid - seek professional help.
• Connect with support groups for survivors.
• Don't isolate yourself - maintain connections with trusted people.
• Healing takes time - be patient with yourself.
The Importance of Speaking Up:
• Your voice matters and can help others.
• Reporting helps prevent others from becoming victims.
• You are not responsible for what happened to you.
• Speaking up is brave, not shameful.
Remember, you are stronger than you know, and you are not alone.
Conclusion: The Sisterhood We Create.
As I write these letters, I'm reminded of all the women who shared their wisdom with me along the way. The colleague who taught me to trust my instincts, the friend who showed me it was okay to prioritize my safety, the mentor who helped me navigate workplace challenges.
This is how we create change - one conversation, one shared experience, one act of support at a time. When we share our stories and strategies, we build a network of protection that extends far beyond our individual circles.
While India currently ranks 148 out of 170 countries in the Women, Peace and Security Index, every woman who reads this and shares it with others creates ripples of positive change. We cannot wait for the world to become safer - we must make ourselves safer within it.
To every young woman reading this: you are valuable, you are worthy of respect, and you deserve to feel safe. Your dreams are valid, your voice matters, and your safety is non-negotiable.
Write your own letters. Share your own wisdom. Look out for the women around you. Together, we are stronger.
Your experiences and wisdom matter. Share your own safety tips in the comments below - what would you tell your younger self? Your advice could be exactly what another woman needs to hear.
Start conversations about women's safety in your family, friend groups, and communities. The more we talk about these issues openly, the more we can support each other.
Save these important numbers in your phone:
• Emergency: 112.
• Women's Helpline: 1090/1091.
• Police: 100.
Remember: You are not alone in this journey. We are all in this together, supporting each other, protecting each other, and creating a safer world for the next generation of women.
Stay safe, stay strong, and never forget your worth.
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